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[09 Dec 2009|10:48am] |
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mood |
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 lazy |
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Fuck the police a wise man once said
But I must say- thank you for not arresting me and Sarah.
I don't really believe in God however, it seems to be on my side, I'm not sure why though.
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[23 Nov 2009|11:24pm] |
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I hate those people who love to tell you "money is the root of all that kills"- they have never been poor.
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| I'm a dipshit. |
[18 Nov 2009|01:20pm] |
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mood |
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 complacent |
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It pains me to turn my neck because whatever the fuck those things are in your throat that swell up when your sick or so big they make my neck feel like it's bruised.
I think I hate Olga's, I can't be sure though, it's to early to know. I'm going to, Aaron willing, work one day at Bob Evans. So far, I left my job to with no intentions of going back to find a place where I could be happier, what have I accomplished, well now I'm hoping to have two jobs I don't particularly care for. I talked it over with Bob though, things, I'm told, will be different. It makes no difference though, it not like I did anything worth mentioning while unemployed. It's JUST like the Shawskank redemption, as soon as I am out all I can do is look around for anyway to get back in.
Other news, well I have no other news, I feel like shit because I am sick, I hate my life because I am broke, but what do I need money for? I don't really know for sure until it's taken away from me.
Conclusion?
I am institutionalized.
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[09 Nov 2009|11:03pm] |
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Turmoil
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[08 Nov 2009|03:11am] |
I forgot how shitty being the new person is. I'll be adjusted in due time, it will be fine. Right now my main goal now that midterms are over is to master this Olga menu thus earning me much needed money plus, the sooner I can get my shit together the sooner I can gain much needed confidence in the workplace.
Other than that I have very little to talk about as of lately, everything is sorta in a transition phase and I am feeling overtly neutral.
When things get exciting, I'll let you know.
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[01 Nov 2009|12:05pm] |
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School is entering its difficult phase, I am trying to read this book and work on my Spanish final, these I believe are the two biggest determinate s of my 1st semester midterm success.
I am becoming one of those lame asses who because it is after Halloween can think of nothing by Christmas. Really pulling through for that Ipod touch and I am spending a lot of waking house dedicated to Ebay...and not my home. Whateve, I am confident that if I can pull through and make today productive, I can infact get through some of these goals I have.
first things first though
1.)clean room
2.)Play tetris for a spurt
3.)take a shower
4.)study Espanol
5.)READ
hrm, sounds good?
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[23 Oct 2009|01:20am] |
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Bad parts, good parts it matters not because (despite my brains best efforts of denial) we are all made of exactly the same parts.
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[12 Oct 2009|01:45am] |
Watch out for the plaid phantom!!!
bahahahaha, Times they are a good.
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[05 Oct 2009|12:29am] |
Thank you lastfm for giving me the music back that I rendered impossible to ever hear again.
I'm not a huge fan of what Zolof's become but god did I love there first album!
I am currently doing nothing, at all.
I want a winter coat, I wonder if I can get my mom to get it for me. If I have ever wasted a day, this was it.
I have a Spanish quiz tomorrow, best of luck to me. I'm going to bed soon.
I hope something good is on Tv.
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[03 Oct 2009|10:05pm] |
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mood |
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 optimistic |
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Not going to work is amazing.
What to do, there are so many possibilities.
Side note, zombieland, really good.
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| The war is over, the battles been won. |
[26 Sep 2009|10:50am] |
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mood |
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 enthralled |
] |
Today marks the end of Bob Evans tyrannical reign over my soul. The war waged was bitter, heartbreaking at times and tedious but I end victorious, not because I told anybody to fuck off or because I really showed them but because I quit on MY terms.
Today is the dawn and the best is yet to come.
For "just a job" Bob Evans has been, without a doubt, the single biggest learning experience of my life thus far. I have dedicated myself to both worthy and unworthy causes, sacrificed an immeasurable amount of time, effort, life "for the company." I have waited on people who failed to recognize me as another human being, only a tool that has not yet brought them their gravy. I have gained an equally immeasurable amount of people skills, self control, quality friendships in the most unlikely of people, independence, confidence and self esteem. These things, self esteem that comes with having your own money and having enough to being to support yourself comes the clauses however, a dependence on where that money is coming from and I depended on Bob Evans, they beat me down so far until I felt like nothing, until I must have truly believed without them I should surely parish because there is no excuse for what I put up with. That however, all ends today. I shall diligently be searching for another job and I shant be forgetting about Bob Evans anytime soon. There are things I will miss but I have finally concluded that it is NOT me who has warn out my welcome there but THEY who have warn out there welcome in my life.
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[23 Sep 2009|10:05pm] |
I figure I've spend about 60 percent of my life bored.
I am bored with school, bored(to tears) with my job, bored with my clothes, hair and style.
Boredom generally leads to depression and I feel like I only get depressed because I don't know I'm bored.
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| This...it explains it all to an almost absurd extent. |
[20 Sep 2009|12:41am] |
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Walkin around the streets of Linn?
Reloading batteries in my own way
Nobody around here would know who I am
That's o.k.
I really wanna do something new
Just anything different to get into
It's all up to me to give it a try
That it's all up to me is making me terrified
It looks like I'll be waiting for moments
That will never arrive
When will I live my live for me?
When will I do what I want to?
When will I let myself be free
And take care of things that I value?
So when will I live my life just for me?
Hitting P.B. drivin E20 north
Future plans being made
Going back and forth
Remain passive
I do got dreams on my mind
And I really should be taking a chance
Risk my safety just for once advance
The one who is trying
Is the one who succeeds
I should be following
My heart and my needs
But I know it's a problem for me
To translate words into deeds
Please say you feel the same way
Just say you know exactly how I feel
So say you feel the same way
And I will do it for real
When will I live my live for me?
When will I do what I want to?
When will I let myself be free
And take care of things that I value?
It's true. I need to forgive myself and see
It's not too late for something new
So when will I live my life just for me?
Yeah when will I live my life just for me?
Yeah maybe I'll live my life just for me?
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[19 Sep 2009|01:44am] |
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fml.
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[16 Sep 2009|02:42am] |
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mood |
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 melancholy |
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I didn't know melancholy had to be a neccasarily bad mood.
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[12 Sep 2009|05:43am] |
This bread taste like shit, and I feel like shit.
I am thristy and I wish we had gatorade.
I'm riddled with problems and it's all my fault, not on a grand scheme but on a little one.
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[09 Sep 2009|01:19pm] |
If you don't like a goofy movie I don't know whats wrong with you.
I think Sarah, Beth, Olivia and I should get tattoos that say "If we listen to each others heart, we'll find we're never to far apart" because I am a genius.
However, last night I also on the drive to Sarahs house considered it would be cool to get a tattoo saying "play that funky music till you die"
I think of really ridicioulous tattoos a lot more than I think of really un-ridiciouslous tattoos.
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[07 Sep 2009|03:52am] |
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I lived in Holland until I was in 7th grade, while there I wore wooden shoes, was sweedish...and said leedle leedle.
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[07 Sep 2009|03:39am] |
I am awake! how is this possible one might ask, I don't know for I am certain tommorow at 8 am when I am gettting ready for work I shall certainly regret it. ABDC is on though so its not too bad. I am happy with tonight even if Sarah is a fuckin prick. :)
I am also happy with the start of school.
That is my update untill time or effort allows.
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[25 Aug 2009|12:30am] |
Winters curse is just around the bend.
It's time to get down to business, I need sleep.
I think that sometimes I like to be pissed off.
Thank you genes I have recieved from my mother.
Some investigating is in order over a few different facts, where do my alliences lie?
I know not, but more importantly, this is about more than aliences, it's about my truth seeking adventure.
I can feel the "fuck you.s" welling up in my body, but I shall keep them at bay until it cant be clarified they are needed, which they may not be but pitty be on those who witness when the time is right to release them.
If I were sleeping I wouldnt be thinking so much nonsense.
Goodnight.
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